fool.

i’m tired of being right about the things i want to be wrong

and of being wrong about the things i want to be right.

I guess it is a weird time to realize that I hate computers.

They are capable of so many things and I’m good with them.

But I kind of hate them. I’m sick of virtual. I want real.

I want something I can feel, smell and taste as well as see and hear.

It seems so cold and impersonal.

When I play my horn, it’s my breath that pushes the reed. That fills

up the bore. When I blow for a while, I can feel lightheaded.

It is an effort that I experience directly.

To touch, to feel… that means something.

Such things are worth the effort.

there are some landscapes

which are not open to me.

only dreams allow me

to feel sun on my shoulders.

does this fence surround you

or does it me?

yum. the periodic table never looked so tasty! (Osmium always gives me gas, tho. time to reach for the bismuth!)

trobot:

I can’t promise you that you will create a universe every time,  but I can promise you a fun time with the kids.

The Ingredients:

(You can find most ingredients at your local periodic table of elements, but if you follow the recipe they will just begin to exist. Who doesn’t like that? In this economy…)

A decent amount of Hydrogen

Deuterium

A little Helium

A little Lithium

Dark Energy

(This recipe calls for Hydrogen and Deuterium. Do not use Hydrogen as a substitute for Deuterium-there’s a mass difference)

1. First, get your universe really hot and dense.

2. You’ll notice the universe will begin to expand after a while. Once the temperature drops, your ingredients begin to exist. Looking good!

3. At this point, you set your oven timer for 100,000 years or until the universe becomes 3000 degrees Kelvin.

4. You’ll notice that your universe becomes opaque when it first starts expanding and cooling off, then it becomes transparent. Almost there! Looks delicious!

5. If you’re on the go, and don’t have 100,000 years, make sure you DON’T use high density matter. This could cause long-range gravitational forces to slow down the expansion. Keep the density low. That way, your universe can expand forever.

6. That’s it! My only other suggestion is to make sure you measure your cosmic background radiation. The CMBR should have a thermal black body spectrum at a temperature of 2.725k!

The kids will love the end results, but they will love the process even more! Enjoy!

so anyway. i’m sorting through my

motivations/hangups. for making stuff.

it’s clear that i’m about gladly letting

my nuts hang out for all to see.

lets say it’s a copout. so what?

is a copout not legitimate?

why do i even ask these questions?

shut up.

when you say “fuck it” the world opens up to you.