July 2012
29 posts
this is an idea that i often think about. more thoughts on this later. good read.
So here’s what I’m thinking about before going to bed. James believes that there is no free will. Scientifically, evolution follows a path directed by catalyst and reaction - our ability to deduce history from our current environment is dependent on the fact that everything stems from something…
RC Mob. Love and Tuna Fish.
i’m going to be controversial here. i think “picking a side” is the mistake. i understand why, for the sake of equality and community, people feel the need to identify as such. those who have “picked a side” often hate and discriminate against those who “play for another team.” i sympathize completely. however, ideally, i don’t think it’s necessary to identify as anything. of course, we don’t live in an ideal world. so… i respect those who do. and understand why… but why narrow your identity to something that sets limits on who you are?
I saw a blog comment discussing bisexuality where an individual stated, “we watched that trend, and we watched it fade as these women, (the majority who claim bi are women)- grew up, really learned who they were, and picked a side.”
First of all, I’m pretty sure the statistics on bisexuality are skewed by the homophobic nature of society, in which it is unacceptable for men to show “womanly” behaviors such as being attracted to other men.
Secondly, bisexuality doesn’t suddenly disappear when a person who identifies as bisexual enters a long-term, monogamous relationship with a binary-gendered person. A bisexual woman who enters into a relationship with another woman is NOT a lesbian. She is a bisexual woman who is in a relationship with a woman. Why? Because she identifies as bisexual. The person you love does not change your identity.
Bisexuality is not a stepping stone, it’s not an excuse, and it’s not a farce. It’s a real identifier that describes how someone views their romantic attraction in relation to binary-gendered people.
Why does it seem like bisexuals “pick a side?” Because a monogamous relationship with a binary-gendered person only shows you half of their attraction. Sure, it seems like that bisexual woman is “really” a lesbian—she’s dating a woman! The obvious assumption is that she is attracted to women. Should that relationship end, and that bisexual woman enter into a relationship with a man, you might see her as straight.
This is why you should never judge people based on what you see. You have no idea what’s really going on. Check your assumptions, and stop jumping to conclusions.
Wrote this almost a year ago for my personal blog, but I think its relevant to QSE as well.
always relevant.
- (Names have been altered slightly, just in case.)
- Josie: I have a new crusshhhhh
- Matt: Me too! On a boy!
- Pearl: You're a boy with a crush on a boy?
- Matt: Yeah he's really cute.
- Pearl: Oh.
- (pause for a bit)
- Matt: Boys can like boys. I just an't marry him because boys can't marry boys.
- Me: Yeah they can. You can marry whoever you want.
- Matt: Really?
- Josie: YEAH my tia has a wife so now I have a titi and a auntie.
- Matt: Okay. Then maybe I'll marry him.
- Dave: (from across the room) No you can't you're seven.
- (Age was apparently the only foreseeable problem anyone of my elementary schoolers could see with gay marriage. I almost cried out of happiness. Later, when I was asked if boys could kiss anyone they wanted, I replied "only if they want to kiss you back." And Josie responded "Yeah! Your body your life.")
- My students are the shit.